All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
