I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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