too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize