She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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