I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
