i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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