Can i not drive my cunt home
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
