I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
