Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
