sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
