i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
