Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
