I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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