How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
