I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize