We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
