dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
