Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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