just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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