Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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