Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
