yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize