and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
