why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize