now i know why i became what i already was.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
