I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
