And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
