Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
