hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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