Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize