So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
