She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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