Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize