margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
