No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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