haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
