she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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