Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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