Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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