Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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