I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
