I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
