We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
