Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
