would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
