I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize