Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
