she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
