dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
