Quick, to the slutcave!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
