i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
