Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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