No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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