I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
