I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
