my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
