i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
