Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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