I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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