that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
