WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
