Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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