wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
