he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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