I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
