just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Randomize
